It Does NOT Get Easier

Waiting on results.... It doesn't seem to matter how much good news we get, when results are due - I sit here and I stress. I try to push it out of my mind but when it creeps back in, that all too familiar sick-in-my-stomach feeling resurfaces and I spend the rest the hour trying to force my mind to think of something else.

Anyways - Blood Results are back and everything looks normal! Phew!  *Small Victory Dance*. The tumor markers are never a sure bet but being normal is most certainly better than being elevated - so Yay!

Chad's been doing alright lately. Still having bloating issues, pains and cramping but he is making a sincere effort to try and appreciate the days he's been given. The change has been decidedly noticeable and I hope he is able to maintain the positive outlook. It definitely makes for brighter days. Literally and figuratively!

Thanks again for all your love and prayers!

August = Blood Tests

Part of Chad's treatment is a blood test every three months. These are referred to as "Tumor Markers", which are not conclusive regardless but they can be an indication if there is something to be concerned about.

So - as usual - we are hoping and praying that they are well within the normal range. We are also asking our friends and family to please keep Chad in your prayers tonight and tomorrow.  God has been so good to us and you guys have been so amazing at helping us through these moments of nervousness and anxiety... I can never thank-you enough. You'll always have our gratitude.

It's So So Hard....

To see my husband is pain. It's also frustrating. It's also a blessing. Huh? I'll explain.

God willing Chad still is and will remain cancer free. I read so many stories of other cancer patients who are fighting so hard, all the time, all day long, just to rid their body of this nasty disease. Nevermind recover from it. 

I sit here in awe, wondering "how do they do it?" What Chad faces with his normal aches and pains seems impossible but these people are up against so much more. Surgeries upon surgeries, complications, chemotherapy treatments and the list goes on. How do they really manage?

Chad has always been thin but he's never really taken care of his body and I think everything is beginning to take its tole. His wrist is still sore, his knees are getting really bad, he has varicose veins in his legs that are causing him big problems, he is once again getting nauseous when he eats, he still has stomach pain and he can't sleep more than a few hours because he has had this cyst on his kidney for years that causes him incredible pain. The guy always feels terrible and it really, really sucks.

But then - I always think about 'what could have been'. Yes he is in pain but goddammit he's alive. Alive. And all things considered, doing well. So yes, these aches and pains while I wish they would ease up - are a blessing because it means he is waking up every day and he's still in my life.

I just wish it was easier for him. I am trying to get him to focus on some of the lesser things, one at a time. We'll get him some compression socks to help with the veins. I am trying to convince him to come to water aerobics to help with his joints. We will look into a new bed to see if that helps his back. (He hates my bed but I love it. It's about ten years old though so I know we need a new one. I just don't want some cheap-ass thing that will be as hard as a rock and I don't think we can afford anything decent) But we've got to try something, right? Right.

Onward and Upward.

I Crave For "Better"

Daily, I'll send Chad a text at work and ask how he is feeling. As I wait for a response, I beg, hope and pray for those magical words "Better". Better is as good as it gets - someday - I hope to hear "Good".

The swelling in his wrist is pretty much gone, though he still has some slight puffiness and it is still tender near the bone - but - he is doing better. His belly has been giving him issues too but I think this will be a life-long battle in that area. (I am fine with dealing with that for another 80 years ;) hehe) 

It's not just the belly pain but discomfort because his bowel movements aren't always regular. Since he doesn't have a gallbladder and is missing a bunch of his colon/intestine - the digestion process is just different. So when things get 'backed up', it really affects him. But he's a soldier through and through and he pushes on.

So on the health front, alls as well as it can be and we're still taking it - one day at a time!

It Could Be Worse

Our new life moto - it could be worse. I know most of you who follow this blog only know about Chad's cancer but in all honesty - the guy has been dealt a tough hand of cards. He's overcome so many obstacles, trials and tribulations - it makes my head spin.

Thankfully, his wrist plate looks fine. Unfortunately, he has a skin infection called Cellulitis. Hopefully, a week of antibiotics, anti-inflammatory and (more) pain pills will make this particular bump in the road, go away.

So it's not amazing news but it's definitely good compared to what we were afraid of. There has been significant improvement today. Yesterday, his arm looked like a balloon and he had debilitating throbbing pain that, literally, brought him to his knees a few times. Today, the swelling has gone down and the pain has subsided to manageable.

Compared to what he went through for the first eight months of this year, today was a field day.

As If Cancer Wasn't Enough

When Chad was in the military, he messed his wrist up pretty bad and as a result has had a metal plate for the past thirteen years. He has always had little to no movement but he did something a few days back (what exactly, remains a mystery) and it's been getting progressively worse.

He is currently in a lot of pain and since he can't get an actual appointment with the doctor for at least a month, we're heading up the Marion VA hospital tomorrow to go to the ER. (So much for not having to go back there until December, eh?)

I have no idea what this could mean. If they have to replace his metal plate, he will no longer be able to work. Which will put him on disability - which will be very hard financially. I don't even know how that works. Or of course, he will need to find work in another field which will prove to be quite a task as well.  I worry most for his peace of mind. It is one thing to go through cancer and all the related surgeries, treatments, medications - and get back on a semi-normal track. Only to have another wrench thrown in his face. It hurts my heart.

So - if you're out there and reading this. Pray for healing. Pray for good news. Pray for nothing majorly wrong. This guy has had enough to deal with this year and - well so have I. (lol) God's been so good to us so far, I'm hoping for one more miracle.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts, love, prayers and support. Hopefully this is only a minor set back on Chad's route to feeling pain free.