Tuesday, February 27, 2018

MRI Yesterday - Random Thoughts

We traveled to Marion, Illinois yesterday for the MRI. The day was relatively uneventful (that is a good thing). It will be a few days before the results are posted online. The follow-up appointment with the doctor will be on March 12th. We have to go back to Marion for that.

This particular scan is for Chad's back. My biggest hope is, of course, no evidence of disease. Even though this particular pain is unrelated to cancer, unfortunately the fear never really goes away.

My second hope is that the images actually give the doctor some idea of why Chad is in pain. Whether it be muscle related or disc (spinal).

Chad's colonoscopy is scheduled for March 8th (I believe)

Thank you everyone for your continued love and support xo

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I wanted to take a moment to reflect and share some thoughts.  Remembering back on everything that has happened these past three years, it seems insane to think it was only three years ago that everything began to crumble around me. It sometimes feels like a lifetime.

Everything is put into two categories right now "Before Chad Got Cancer" and "After Chad Got Cancer". I've been reflecting on those first moments, days, weeks after we got the news. The emotions, the fear, the confusion - feeling so absolutely overwhelmed. I didn't know where to turn and I had never navigated something like this before. My family was a million miles away and I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had to figure out what this cancer was and how Chad could best fight it. I had just found him, I wasn't ready to let him go. I never will be.

I joined online support groups and I google'd the hell out of Appendix cancer. I absorbed as much information as humanly possible until I couldn't absorb anymore. I contacted so many charities and foundations - looking for information. Direction. Best case and worse case scenarios. I was looking for Hope. That's when I found it. 

One of the foundations I reached out to, reached back. A man called me on the phone to share his story, information and prepare me for the journey I was about to embark upon. He gave me hope and light in one the very darkest moments of my life. He made me believe this wasn't the end and to keep pushing for the best possible outcome. For those first few weeks I kept in touch with he and his wife. They hooked me up with Dr Sardi, who later became my husband's expert appendix cancer surgeon.

This man's name was Tim Wesley. He was surviving Stage 4 appendix cancer. He was doing well and made it his life's mission to raise awareness and fund research. To share his story and information with people like me, who were lost and so so very afraid.

He passed away over the weekend. A piece of my heart broke. I cried and cried for a man I've never met. I wept for his wife and two daughters who now have to somehow carry on living without the single most important person in their world.

I wanted to write a post in honor of him. I wanted to say so many things but I am without words. Appendix cancer is brutal. All cancer is but I am speaking specifically of this one. I see people surviving it all the time but I have seen so much loss in just three years of those people who were not fortunate enough to catch it early. And I hate it. I hate it SO much. I hate cancer with every fiber of my being, I just want to spit in its face and stomp on it until I collapse from exhaustion. I HATE IT.

Tim was a remarkable man. He made each day count and always, always looked for the silver lining. He was an absolute inspiration and heaven gained one incredible angel. We, here on earth, will feel this loss for a long, long time.

Every single day, is a gift. Cherish and please don't EVER take it for granted.

Rest In Peace, Tim. <3


Friday, February 9, 2018

Pain Management Consult

We traveled to Marion today for a consult for Pain Management for Chad's back. It was uneventful but we really liked the doctor.

The current next step is going back to Marion for an MRI of his spine to confirm whether the trouble is disc or muscle related. That is on Feb 12.

His Colonoscopy is still scheduled for March 8 at 12:30 so we'll be praying for clear results there :)

Other than that, taking it one day at a time and being thankful for each moment <3

Thanks for your love and support