It Does NOT Get Easier

Waiting on results.... It doesn't seem to matter how much good news we get, when results are due - I sit here and I stress. I try to push it out of my mind but when it creeps back in, that all too familiar sick-in-my-stomach feeling resurfaces and I spend the rest the hour trying to force my mind to think of something else.

Anyways - Blood Results are back and everything looks normal! Phew!  *Small Victory Dance*. The tumor markers are never a sure bet but being normal is most certainly better than being elevated - so Yay!

Chad's been doing alright lately. Still having bloating issues, pains and cramping but he is making a sincere effort to try and appreciate the days he's been given. The change has been decidedly noticeable and I hope he is able to maintain the positive outlook. It definitely makes for brighter days. Literally and figuratively!

Thanks again for all your love and prayers!

August = Blood Tests

Part of Chad's treatment is a blood test every three months. These are referred to as "Tumor Markers", which are not conclusive regardless but they can be an indication if there is something to be concerned about.

So - as usual - we are hoping and praying that they are well within the normal range. We are also asking our friends and family to please keep Chad in your prayers tonight and tomorrow.  God has been so good to us and you guys have been so amazing at helping us through these moments of nervousness and anxiety... I can never thank-you enough. You'll always have our gratitude.

It's So So Hard....

To see my husband is pain. It's also frustrating. It's also a blessing. Huh? I'll explain.

God willing Chad still is and will remain cancer free. I read so many stories of other cancer patients who are fighting so hard, all the time, all day long, just to rid their body of this nasty disease. Nevermind recover from it. 

I sit here in awe, wondering "how do they do it?" What Chad faces with his normal aches and pains seems impossible but these people are up against so much more. Surgeries upon surgeries, complications, chemotherapy treatments and the list goes on. How do they really manage?

Chad has always been thin but he's never really taken care of his body and I think everything is beginning to take its tole. His wrist is still sore, his knees are getting really bad, he has varicose veins in his legs that are causing him big problems, he is once again getting nauseous when he eats, he still has stomach pain and he can't sleep more than a few hours because he has had this cyst on his kidney for years that causes him incredible pain. The guy always feels terrible and it really, really sucks.

But then - I always think about 'what could have been'. Yes he is in pain but goddammit he's alive. Alive. And all things considered, doing well. So yes, these aches and pains while I wish they would ease up - are a blessing because it means he is waking up every day and he's still in my life.

I just wish it was easier for him. I am trying to get him to focus on some of the lesser things, one at a time. We'll get him some compression socks to help with the veins. I am trying to convince him to come to water aerobics to help with his joints. We will look into a new bed to see if that helps his back. (He hates my bed but I love it. It's about ten years old though so I know we need a new one. I just don't want some cheap-ass thing that will be as hard as a rock and I don't think we can afford anything decent) But we've got to try something, right? Right.

Onward and Upward.