Wednesday, April 29, 2015

What Your Friends With Cancer Want You To Know (But Are Afraid To Say)

I read a post on Facebook yesterday that literally brought me to tears. Chad and I were sitting in the car waiting for Haven to get off work. It took me ten times as long to read this out loud to Chad as it should have because I kept breaking down and sobbing.

I want you all to read this. If Cancer has touched your life personally, you can relate. If it hasn't - PLEASE take the time to read it. The full article can be found here. It was written by Kim Helminski Keller.

While they ALL have merit, these are the points that really touched me, personally.

  1. Don’t wait on me to call you if I need anything.  Please call me every once in a while and set up a date and time to come over. I know you told me to call if I ever needed anything, but it’s weird asking others to spend time with me or help me with stuff I used to be able to do on my own. It makes me feel weak and needy, and I’m also afraid you’ll say “no.” 
  2. . Ask me “what’s up” rather than “how do you feel.” Let’s talk about life and what’s been happening rather than focusing on my illness. 
  3.  I need a little time alone.  A few points ago I was talking about how much I need to spend time with you, and now I’m telling you to go away.  I love you, but sometimes I need a little solitude. It gives me the chance to take off the brave face I’ve been wearing too long, and the silence can be soothing. 
  4. My family needs friends. Parenting is hard enough when your body is healthy; it becomes even more challenging when you’re managing a cancer diagnosis with the day-to-day needs of your family. My children, who aren’t mature enough to understand what I’m going through, still need to go to school, do homework, play sports, and hang out with friends. Car-pooling and play dates are sanity-savers for me. Take my kids. Please.My spouse could also benefit from a little time with friends. Grab lunch or play a round of golf together. I take comfort in knowing you care about the people I love. 
  5. Take nothing for granted. Enjoy the life you have right now. Take time to jump in puddles, hug the kids, and feel the wind on your face. Marvel at this amazing world God created, and thank Him for bringing us together.